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Wednesday, March 14, 2018

When men dare to question ...

Interesting.

Someone posted the question today on Facebook asking why we do not have an International Men's Day. The response from one woman is that men are not disenfranchised. I disagree with this assertion, men are disenfranchised.

Men are denied the fulfillment of basic physiological needs when they are told they have no right to sexual fulfillment (numerous social policy considerations on that point, alone). They are denied the right of fatherhood when women abort a child to get revenge for some perceived wrong by the man. They are denied the right of fatherhood when a woman demands full custody of their children, then denies his right of visitation, even when the court orders it. The worst cases are when she moves out of state, not even letting the man know where they are.

The financial rights of men are denied when women insist on "renegotiating" child support or alimony payments after the man gets a better job or otherwise becomes successful in life. Men are denied their right to live freely when a woman falsely accuses him of rape or child molestation, ending with him, at very least, spending time in jail trying to prove his innocence. Men are denied their right of free association when women insist on having access to private clubs for men, even though they militarily defend their right to women-only facilities and events. Men are denied the right to free speech and freedom of the press when feminists attack them for even asking questions like the above or gather together to hold meetings to consider such questions.

While some may think men are not disenfranchised, the evidence says otherwise.

Are women oppressed and disenfranchised? In all too many ways, they are. They are underpaid, under-served by the healthcare industry, harassed by even the simplest of bodily functions, particularly if they are breastfeeding a child, and are too frequently discouraged from "men's" work occupations that there is no reason but tradition behind.

The problem as I see it is neither side has ever actually sat down with the other to hammer out an understanding of the issues. Each has always expected the other to bend to their will and needs without question or discussion and this is where our problem is.

Everyone needs to accept that the concept of rights and privileges is a two-way street. Room needs to be made and left for the others of society to have a say and to have their needs met. Just as women need their rights and needs respected and met, men need their rights and needs equally respected and met. Men and women both need to remember that we cannot have children, for example, without each other and that this is a fundamental part of our gender identity.

We need to return to the concepts of ''communal manhood'' and ''communal womanhood'' where our identity was not tied to the size of our bank accounts, how many ''baby mamas'' we got pregnant, or how many people we have beaten up or crushed under our occupational heels. Under communal identity, we should be measuring our maturity by our contribution to society and by the level of personal development we have achieved. Equally, we need to accept and respect the fact that our definitions of ''manhood'' and ''womanhood'' need to be revisited and revised.

Maybe its time we actually started a mature conversation instead of dismissing each other so casually.